The complicated human race
by The O.C. Addict
Summary: Ron and Harry are trying to figure out girls while Ron tries to get Hermione's attention. or something of that nature
1. due essays!

I'm once again writing a story that's not about "The O.C." it feels wonderful! Although I've never posted a Harry Potter story so give me a chance! This weird idea came to me while I was watching "The O.C." (duh! ) Thank you Summer and Seth for the idea!

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"Ron, will you shut up?" Hermione Granger growled at him in the Common Room. "I'm trying to get this essay done."

Ronald Weasley looked at her. "Why don't you have it done? Even Harry and I have it done."

Harry Potter shook his head and sighed _'Those two always at it'_

"Dude, Hermione you looked stressed out. What have you been doing?" Ron asked her while he played chess with Harry. "We hardly ever see you anymore except in classes and . . . that's about it. You don't even come to meals anymore."

Hermione dropped her quill "Why does that bother you Ronald?"

A couple of first years looked her way because she said it kinda loud.

'_By the fact that I don't see you much anymore yeah it bothers me'_ " No not really cause when you're around us you always nag us around. You sound like my mom most of the time."

Harry kicked him " Ron" he muttered.

"That's it!" Hermione slammed shut her book and gathered up her papers. "Since you son of a bitch won't shut up. I am leaving to finish my damn paper that's due tomorrow!" She stormed out leaving Harry and Ron there in the Common room shocked.

"Did Hermione just say . . . ?" said Ron " She just used . . ." his jaw dropped

"Yeah I believe she just did." Harry sat there looking at the stairs.

Ron slumped in his chair. "Harry we'll never understand girls." _'She's even beautiful when she's pissed off'_

" Personally I don't think we want to" Harry answered rubbing his neck. "They are a complicated part of the human race."

"Boys that is what you call P.M.S." Ginny Weasley said sitting beside her brother.

"S.P. what?" Ron asked.

Ginny giggled. "You guys are hilarious! You might want to talk to a male for that conversation." She laughed hard "15 years old and as stupid as a tea cozy."

Ron and Harry looked at her with confused faces. "You poor, poor things. You shall have to seek advice to see the answer." She continued. They looked at her with blank expressions.

"Well I'm off to bed." And with that she left upstairs. Once again Harry and Ron just sat there confused.

And so they decided tomorrow they would seek advice on the female race. Ron especially wanting to understand Hermione more.

There what do you think so far? I don't know about the story myself. But I do know one thing for sure! JULY 16TH BETTER COME QUICKLY!

R&R!!! Please!!!!!!


	2. PMS ?

Hey! Sorry this chapter took I'm trying to work on two different stories right now too. So after 6th months here it is hopefully you like it. I was trying to get it out before the 6th book came out but sadly I was unsucessful with that and . . .yeah!

But I think that was a good thing. I didn't want to like screw up the chapter or something. Anyway hope you enjoy this chapter! For those of you that read it!

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"I'm starving!" Ron exclaimed as he and Harry sat down in the Great Hall the next day. "I'm so glad it's dinner."

As Ron started piling food onto his plate , Harry looked around the table."Where's Hermione? She hasn't been to breakfast or lunch. and she didn't show up for any classes today."

Ron bit into his potato and shrugged " I don't know you think she's still pissed about last night?"

"I wouldn't doubt it," Ginny said sitting beside Ron "Besides you were being an asshole and saying some pretty nasty stuff."

"Well she usually takes it any other day." Ron said sadly.

Harry sat up "Sadly enough that's true but that 's just it she sad something this time so that means something is wrong with her."

Ginny threw up her hands up "This is exactly what I was talking about!"

Ron and Harry both looked at her. "Remember what I said yesterday? P.M.S.?"

Ginny shook her head "So I guess you guys didn't ask anybody yet did you?"

They continued to look at her like she was weird. Ginny turned away "Yeah, I'm gonna leave now."

Harry turned to Ron "Do you think we should actually ask someone?"

Ron opened his mouth and closed it again then opened it and said "It does seem like a good idea."

They both stared at each other again. "Since you really want to know about Hermione." He teased Ron.

"Dude, shut up." Ron told him.

Harry drank down some pumpkin juice and bust out laughing. "And since when have you been saying 'dude?'"

Ron mocked his laughing "Since I saw this thing called a movie thingy that Hermione brought on the train."

Harry shook his head and laughed some more at Ron. "At least you added a new word to your vocabulary."

"Very funny." Ron told Harry. "Okay, if you really want to ask somebody then we should shake hands on it."

Harry looked at him funny and finally said "Sure, but why are we shaking on it?"

"So you don't bail out or something."

Harry sallowed his food " Yeah, like I'm the kinda person to bail out."

Ron grimaced at him "That's true."

So they decided that after they finished dinner they would go find somebody to ask.

They walked out of the Great Hall and looked at each other. Both were thinking the same thing. Who would they ask?

"Maybe we should a female." Ron said looking down the hall. "Like . . . " Then he spotted somebody and pointed, "Like her!"

Harry looked at who he was talking about and realized she was 3rd year Gryffindor he had seen around the common room.

"Okay" Harry said reluctently.

"Come on!" Ron said walking to were the girl was standing. When they walked up to her she looked dumbfounded as to why 6th year boys were walking up to her.

"Hi, what are you doing?" Ron asked her.

She looked at him weirdly. "Well, I'm sorta standing here waiting for my friends." she answered him sarcasticly.

"Hey don't talk to me like that I'm a prefect!" Ron raised his voice.

She gave him a dirty look. "And that is suposed to mean something to me?"

Ron opened his mouth again but Harry interrupted him, " Shut up Ron. We need to ask you something." he told her.

"Yeah, " Ron said "We want to know what . . . P.M.S. is ."

Her mouth dropped open. "Excuse me? And you're supposed to be a prefect?" She started to walk away from them looking horrified. " I sure hope you don't have a girlfriend." she walked to her friends and looked away.

" So does that mean you're not gonna help us?" Ron yelled her.

Harry answered for her. "I think that's a no."

"Well, since she's being so rude I think we'll find somone else to ask."

They continued to ask a couple of more girls and started to give up hope when Ron saw somebody and decided they needed to ask an older woman.

"Ha!" Ron said loudly suprising Harry. "That's who we should ask!" He pointed to her.

Harry jumped when he saw who he was talking about. "Professor McGonagall? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Hey, since she's an 'older' woman she would know about it more than anybody."

Harry agreed with him. So they walked over to where she was.

"Well, hello boys I hope your resting up for that Quidditch match in a couple days." She told them when she saw them.

" Of course Professor." Harry answered. "And we needed to ask you a question."

McGonagall looked slightly suprised. " Yes?"

" You see Professor, " Ron began slightly worried "We wanted to know about . . . well we wanted to know about P.M.S. "

McGonagall jumped so suddenly that her hat almost fell off. She seemed so shocked that she was speechless.

Harry knew at once that this was a mistake and would hit Ron the moment they were alone.

"Weasley, Potter why on earth would you want to know about that?" she scolded them.

They both looked up at her without an answer.

"Well, I'm sorry but you're going to have to ask somebody else. More like a gentleman." She told them.

They both apologized for bothering her and stalked off.

"Once again we were exteremly sucessful!" Ron said in mock happiness.

" Look at the brightside at least we know not to ask a woman." Harry pointed out.

"Yeah, but the question is who to ask?" asked Ron.

Both thought about it for a moment and started to walk up to Gryffindor tower feeling hopeless when Harry thought of . . .

"Lupin!"

Ron turned to him. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that?"

So they both decided to walk to to his office. Yes, Remus Lupin had decided to return to his position of Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. (yay!)

They got to his office door and knocked. "Come in. " Lupin replied. He looked up to see who it was and smiled.

"Oh, Harry, Ron please come in.Sit down. How may I help you?"

"Um Professor, we wanted to know what exactly P.M.S. was." Ron asked him.

Harry excepted him to blow off his top like McGonagall did but instead he looked very thoughtful.

He was silent for a moment and finally spoke "Well, you see boys what that stands for is Premenstural Syndrome.

And what it does is that it makes a woman very emotional. One minute she may be happy the next sad or the next very angry and grouchy.You see it comes once a month before . . ." Lupin broke off. "I'm sorry boys that's about all I can tell you now."

When he looked at them both they had their mouths open and looked very scared. Then Ron stood up and said "Thank you for telling us Professor. I'll be leaving now."

Harry got up too. "Yes thank you Professor. See you next class."

"Wait a minute, " Lupin stopped them:"Which one of you wanted to know this?"

Harry laughed "Well actually it was Ron. He just wanted to know what was going on with Hermione."

"Harry shut up!" Ron said to him.

"Oh, I see. Um . . . Ron can I see you tomorrow after dinner?" Lupin asked Ron.

"Sure Professor." He answered glaring at Harry.

Then Harry and Ron both turned and walked out feeling completly dazed about what they just had heard.

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So there it is not excatly the best chapter I've written but it'll have to do. So did you like it? Please READ AND REVIEW!

I'll try and make the next chapter a bit more speedy. (**please like this one and review**.) I'm still extremely depressed about Dumbledore. And completly softhearted.


	3. The talk!

Okay here it is. The third chapter. Hope you like it!

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"So Lupin wants to talk to you after dinner." Harry laughed as he said it for the hundredth time that day.

"Shut up." Ron growled at him "It's all your fault that I have to go."

Harry looked taken aback. "My fault? How's it my fault?"

Ron gave him a dirty look. "Because you opened your big mouth."

Harry sipped his pumpkin juice "Please if you hadn't wanted to know what P.M.S. was then you wouldn't be in this mess!"

Ron shoved the chicken into his mouth. "You're the one who made a deal with me that we would ask someone!" he said through a full mouth.

Harry patted Ron on the back. " well, look it at this way mate. At least we didn't go as far as asking Snape." he said pointing toward Snape.

Ron shuddered. "I wonder what he would have said."

"Please boys don't try and think like that. You'll have nightmares." a voice said.

They looked up. It was Lupin.

"Mr. Weasley. I'd like to have a word with you in my office if you don't mind." he said politely.

Seamus Finnegan turned toward them "Ooo, you're in trouble."

Remus casted him a look.

"This doesn't concern you Mr. Finnegan." he looked at Ron. "Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Ron muttered under his breath.

"See you later." he said to Harry.

As they walked down the pathway Ron saw Hermione. She gave them a curious look. Then she turned her head and whispered something to Ginny.

Ron's stomach turned. He knew she was talking about him. They walked up to Lupin's office. But finally they got there.

"Please sit down." Lupin motioned to the chair as he walked behind his desk.

"There's something I would like to talk to you about."

Ron remained quiet. He was about to say something when.

"It concerns what Harry said yesterday." Remus continued.

Ron shut his mouth. He turned red.

"He said that you wanted to know what was going on with Hermione."

Ron could feel his face burning up.

"So . . . I wanted to talk to you about something that's prominent in your like now."

Ron wondered what he was talking about.

Lupin took a deep breath. "I wanted to . . . Have the "talk" with you . . ."

Ron was confused.

"Excuse me sir, what . . . Talk?"

Lupin fidgeted with his fingers.

"The sex talk."

Ron's jaw dropped. H turned as red as an apple.

"No need to worry Ron." Lupin reassured him." I wrote you parents and they gave me permission."

Ron was horrified. "My parents know?"

"Calm down." Lupin said fumbling through his desk.

"Go on sir. I'm listening." And he braced himself for what was coming next.

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There you go! It's short but it's all I COULD DO. Yeah, I'm gonna go! Did you like it? Gots to go!

**READ AND REVIEW!**


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